Updated: Oct 22
So this past week was all about THE COLOR! What color was I going to pick for the entire bathroom including doors and ceiling? I ordered several paint samples from Farrow and Ball and just knew that it would be love at first sight. I had already dreamed of the color..in theory. I excitedly started opening the small cans and throwing them up on the wall. Why did they look so different? The color I KNEW I was going to pick was so dark and not at all the dreamy color I had seen so many times in photographs. Well, for starters I have almost zero natural light and the lighting I did have was pretty dull. So yes, that accounted for the fact that it was not the same. I was disappointed.
I went back to the drawing board and went to not one, or two but four paint stores looking for the perfect color. I mean it has to be perfect right? I stayed up at night anxious and almost broke out into tears when the 22nd color was just not right. So I started to think "What is really wrong? I mean this is paint color? You know its not permanent" Then I started to see that I was putting so much pressure on myself to make it just right. I had never had a beautiful bathroom before. Most of the time I don't even want anyone to come in my bedroom.
Lets take this way back.
In my barely 20s I suddenly became a young mom, unplanned, not married and no idea as to how all of this was going to work. Did I mention this unplanned pregnancy was t w i n s?! So yeah. Not prepared was an understatement. But one of my great qualities is that I am creative and extremely headstrong. I can figure anything out and what I don't know I can "fake it till I make it" as they say. So that is what I did and also fell in love with being a mom.
I did end up married by the time the twins were one and was off to a new town and an apartment that was empty. I learned to create something new out of something old because the family needs were first and its all we could afford. I could fix , paint or change just about anything until my place became a very eclectic place that everyone always commented on just like with my fashion sense. I had been thrift shopping the majority of my clothes since Jr High School so I knew all about how to shop on a string. I loved the thrill of the find and I am very good at it.
A couple apartments later we bought our first home that was a 1950s bungalow. I adored that home but was swiftly selling a year later and off to another new city and bought a 1920s craftsman that needed work from the basement up. I could only do a superficial remodel. Just enough to make it look pretty inside in the main areas. Then I was divorced with small children.
Now this blog post is not intended to tell my life story as it seems that I am. But I was curious as to why all of these memories had now taken place over picking a paint color. I realized that my husband I am absolutely happily remarried to is an incredibly gifted person who knows how to build a house from its foundation up. He can rebuild anything, he did with our family (ok, that's another story for another time) This is the first time in my life that taking care of the kids is no longer the first priority for both of us. They are making their own way now. This is the first time I can care about what my own personal space looks like. ( Oh my goodness this is making me tear up) I always wanted our home to be something everyone could be proud of and feel at home....in the main part of the house. The part company sees, you know, I mean we built a dream kitchen 2 years ago. But NOW I can have a beautiful walk in closet that feels like a fancy department store that I don't even shop at. I can have a marble floor that I want to stare at to see all its fascinations of color. A shower that people are calling art. Yes, this is my time. We have lived here for almost 6 years and the thought that a #hometakeestime has a deeper meaning for me. I took time....to raise a family, be a vintage clothing buyer for stores, upcycle furniture, own a catering business and finally realize I am an artist.
So on to the paint color. I chose one of the first ones. You will see next week. Thank you for being here. My color therapy xo Mel